The Vitruvian Theo

The Vitruvian Theo

I had originally merely called this "Theo da Vinci" (potentially problematic nomenclature should I ever want to make a Theo based on Vincent Van Gogh and avoid fundamentalist-Muslim wrath), but I decided to go ahead and actually check out (via Wikipedia) the actual name of the picture in order to, I suppose, seem educated. Which I've just shot to hell by fessing up. Anyway, 'vitruvian' is a fancy word, whatever it means. And this is a fancy picture, leading generations of schoolchildren to titter "you can see his pee-nis!". This is, of course, da Vinci's primary contribution to education worldwide.

Penis or no, I think Theo fits wonderfully well into this iconic photo (quality too small to appreciate, perhaps). His head is, of course, way out of proportion and his neck is, well, absent. But still, he looks happy with his four arms, four legs and dangling genitalia.

And who wouldn't be?

Theo the Bubble Boy

Theo the Bubble Boy

There's not much very impressive going on in this picture... it's just a simple distortion on his face, giving him a huge nose. A variation on the Woll Smoth, I suppose. I call him the 'bubble boy' because it makes his face look like a bubble, I suppose.

Well, in any case, there he is, back where he belongs, in high school in front of the set of lockers.

And with impressive peripheral vision.

Theo the Flag-Waver

Theo the Flag-Waver

Well, looked for something Remembrance Day-ish, and all I could get was this. Jingoism of a different country. But I think 11 November is commemorated in the States as "Veterans' Day", so it'll do. Jingoism is so freakishly foreign to me that I'm actually fascinated when I see it. This one reminds me of American election posters, where each candidate tries to out-American the other. Theo's pensive expression now looks like rapt pride (well, work with me here) in front of the waving red, white and blue.

Theo McDonald

Theo McDonald

A week late for Hallowe'en, the single creepiest thing in the world: Ronald McDonald. Clearly in an attempt not to be out-creeped by its main competitor, Burger King relatively recently launched the highly creepy king mascot it has now. But frightwig-and-greasepaint Ronald has him beat both in longevity and in creepiness. Coulrophobia is by now so endemic that I have no idea why anyone uses clowns as mascots. Can't sleep... clown will McEat me...