Here's Theo

 

The height of stupidity, really... this ridiculous creation is our good friend Theo badly pasted upon Jack Nicholson, axe in hand, screaming "Here's Johnny" in a bizarre imitation of Ed MacMahon in the movie "The Shining". The eyes don't match up... the two mouths are freakish in their superimposition...the result looks like neither Malcolm Jamal Warner nor Jack Nicholson... but just as creepy as a Steven King book.

Theospotting

Theospotting

A bit obvious, maybe. A super iconic poster for a pretty damn good movie, the 'Trainspotting' film promotional poster was one of those dorm room mainstays for many a years. Renton, Diane, Sick Boy et al still have their bodies here, but suddenly they've all become Theo Huxtable. Which must, I imagine, make for a highly confusing movie to watch - kind of like the video for Aphex Twin's "Come to Daddy", I guess. But you've got to love that Theo-on-Theo action you get after Theo picks up an underage Theo in the bar. And how sexy undersage Theo looks in the schoolgirl's uniform...

Argh. I think I've just melted my brain.

Dr. Theo "Hannibal" Lecter

Dr. Theo "Hannibal" Lecter

 

Yes, this one is terribly crude. I think I did it with MS Paint or something. But it's appropriately giggle-worthy. I think Hannibal from The Silence of the Lambs in his mask, straight-jacketed to a gurney is about as iconic an image as the Gimp from Pulp Fiction (who doesn't have any exposed skin, so I couldn't make a Theo-Gimp). So the problem of the original picture of Theo I use tilting his head ever so slightly off-centre returns here (the mask is looking directly forward but its occupant is not), but is hopefully less problematic than Theo Huxtable obviously having white ears and neck. Well, perhaps it's a skin-dress.

Baby Theo on Santa's Knee

Baby Theo on Santa's Knee

Ah, 'tis the season... in the spirit of Jesus's birth, I give you Santa Claus... the obvious option would be Santa Theo. But... well, I thought it was better to go this way. We've had a few Baby Theo pictures so far. Here he is making wishes on Santa's knee. What, pray tell, would the Huxtables' only son be wishing for? That's between him and his Santa...

Theo Film Reel

Theo Film Reel

I like this one: it's a cute trick of repeating GIFs that you can make a repeated, scrolling thing appear to be scrolling eternally. Here, of course, I split it, having Theo scroll in one direction on the top half and in the other direction on the bottom half. All in all, I'm pleased with the result, though I suppose it might cause seizures or something. In which case I should have warned you earlier.

Theo Menorah

 

Theo Menorah

Just in time for Chanukah, I give you the Theo Menorah, a miracle where each of the Menorah candle burns not with a yellow flame but with a rolling little Huxtable-head. I know it's tough to see, given the tiny picture size, but believe me: there are nine Theos for the nine days of Chanukah.

Now if anyone could explain to me the whole Chanukah-spelling issue...

Nevermind Theo

Nevermind Theo

Yay! Another week, another penis! In this case, though, it's not an ancient classic so much as a modern classic. I don't like Nirvana much, but I realise that not considering Nevermind to be a classic of the 20th century is kind of like not considering your metaphors with enough thought.

Nevermind is one of those cases where iconic album meets, through sheer coincidence I suppose, iconic cover art. The baby, the swimming, the dollar bill, the pool, the fishhook. The don't-comment-on-the-kid's-penis-you-pedo-you. So here is Theo, looking back on when he was a little nappy-headed boy, swimming for cash. As Malclolm Jamal Warner might well presently be doing.